Oops…Date-ah-whatey?

As I was reviewing the past few months of our budget… taking a deeper look at where each dollar was spent, I was surprised that an area that once ruled was gone almost completely- Date Night.

WhenYouForgetDateNight

Here, we are always advocating to schedule time for each other. We tell others to plan ahead, write it in ink, get it on the calendar or it won’t happen. Yet in the shuffle of holidays and extra hours at work- our eating out budget was for quick subs during our separate lunch breaks.

As I looked at the receipts I thought… yea, I guess that’s right. We opted to participate in that gift exchange instead of dinner. We grabbed that caffeine pick-me-up on our way to work instead of with one another.

Those Date Night dollars found new ways to be spent, but not on intentional intimacy-building date nights. We both dropped the ball a little.

But hey, it happens and that’s ok! Let’s just pick up where we left off and get that ink on the calendar again!

So if you, like us, haven’t been on a date in a while. Let this be your little reminder to put it on the calendar. Set aside your time, and money where possible, for this.

Because this is where intimacy is built- In the consistency of time well spent together.

 

Come back and tell us what you did on your date this week!

How to Sweep them off their Feet…. Again

During the beginning of a relationship you work hard to impress your crush. You want to snag that guy, woo that girl, knock them off their feet and fall madly-deeply-in-love!

Dating is marked by adventures, small surprises, and sweet gestures- In short, dating is going out of your way to make the other feel loved.

I remember going out of my comfort zone for the sake of my partner’s interests- For Tappy, I went bowling even though I think it’s boring, I’m lousy at it, and I always walk away with a painfully broken nail. For me, Tappy took me on a special date to Chicago even though he always dreaded the traffic.  Countless women watched sports for their mates, and men danced for their ladies. But overtime, what we were willing to do to snag them we stop doing once they are snagged. Can you relate?

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So the first step to sweeping them off their feet all over again, is to rekindle that habit of adventure and compromise. Spice it up! Get out of your Rut. Do something for them.  Here are a few places to start brainstorming.

1) Do Something They Love

Does your hubby watch sports, fish, hunt? Is there something you already know that they love, but you’ve never taken the time to try it? Take the chance to do it now.

Does your wife love her spin class at the rec, reading mystery novels, or watching chick flicks? Indulge a little.

Honestly for us… this would be me sitting down and watching Tappy’s beloved Dr. Who, and Tappy painting pottery with me.

Maybe your partner doesn’t want you tagging along though… and that’s ok! We all need our me-time, but I’m sure they would love for you to take a little interest in hearing about their day and how they spent that me-time! So take a minute and actively listen to their story.

2) Try Something New to Both of You

When we got engaged we specifically chose to honeymoon at a place neither of us had ever been before. We wanted our “special spot” to only share memories of us as a couple. This spot brings up so many memories and emotions for us now, and we can’t wait to revisit it for the special meaning it’s created for us.

In the same way, create new memories only the two of you share. If it is new to both of you it evens the playing field and adds to the mystery and adventure of it all.

During the course of dating we would take dance lessons, but there are still so many things we haven’t tried! Like a cooking class, rock climbing and belay course, or horse-back riding…

Whatever it is, big or small. Try something new! Take a class, read a book, try a new restaurant, or travel to a new spot.

 

Now you tell me… What did you do in the dating years to impress your mate? What is something you want to try now?

 

Tappy and I are going to start small. We are committing to trying a new restaurant this week and dressing up for the date like we used to.

Be sure to keep your eyes peeled, as we are going to keep talking about how to rekindle the romance in our relationship by taking a look at our past.

Ditch the Flowers… Our Valentine Traditions

Have you noticed that the price of flowers almost double in the month of February? And those cute heart shaped boxes actually hold less candy?

I love fresh flowers to smell and tend to, and I LOOOOVE my chocolate. However, in the month of February we decided to skip the cliches and start our own traditions to get more bang for our buck. I’d rather have small bouquets throughout the year if it means skipping them tomorrow, and my chocolate can come in any shape or form and you know they’ll be eaten!

If flowers and chocolates is what your significant other truly truly wants though, don’t you dare blame it on me. Splurge! The love of your life is worth it! But if you want to stretch your date dollars this month here are a few go-to Valentine date ideas.

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Put Together a Spa Kit

You can gather some of these items from what you already own and mix them in with a few inexpensive additions: Soap or Bath bomb for soaking, pumice stone or grater for smoothing, lotion for healing, and a new nail polish or face mask as a cherry on top! Soak your feet together in a warm sudsy bath or tub, scrape the old, massage with lotion, and voila. She’ll feel pampered!

Give an at Home Massage

My hubby will never turn down a massage. He will take one in a box with a fox, here or there, or anywhere! You can make a cute coupon if you have time, but honestly he doesn’t need one- He just wants the massage. Up the game with some lotion, oil, candles, or how you dress.

Check out a new to you RomCom from the Library

Redbox is less than 2 bucks, and Family Video isn’t bad either, but the Library is free! Rent an old tried and true, or try some of our favorites: Flipped, You’ve Got Mail, Moulin Rouge, The Proposal, Charade, Pillow Talk, & If a Man Answers.

Dine in now, Eat out later

It can be hard to get a reservation on Valentine’s Day, and once you are out and about you realize that it is BUSY! The roads, the restaurants… you may even feel shuffled about and whisked quickly through your meal. Skip the hustle and have a romantic candle-lit dinner at home and make reservations for another weekend to make up for having to cook. We always grab fancy steaks from Sams and serve them with our favorite drink!

Make it Special, Whatever You Do

Whether you choose to go out, or stay in- Be sure to make it special! Valentine’s Day is a day to remind us to cherish one another and not take each other for granted. Be sure that your significant other doesn’t go unnoticed. Tell them how much they mean to you, be specific. Spoil them with a massage, gift, or dinner. Get dressed up, light some candles, and make them feel loved.

 

What are your Valentine Traditions? Do you love splurging on a night on the town or do you prefer cuddling up close at home? Give us some ideas for next year in the comments!

 

Love Letters & Valentines

Do you remember writing notes in class? Putting pen to paper, practicing those bubble letters your BFF always uses, or staying true to your own mixture of print and cursive… Then carefully folding your message into a triangular “football” hiked to your recipient.

What about those handmade valentine’s that came out of the Family Fun magazine? Staying up with mom and the hot glue gun pouring your heart into the craft of wiggly eyes and Hershey’s kisses.

Or my favorites…. handwritten notes quickly jotted by mom left in my lunchbox, or the love letters Tappy would leave me to discover on my lunch breaks from working at Walmart.

I even remember in highschool one friend painstakingly made recycled paper in his blender, and I marveled at his dedication to the art of letter writing.

Love Letters & Valentines

Whether it’s a homemade valentine, or a hand-picked and store bought one… Whether it’s a full blown love letter or a sneaky post-it note… Take the time to write a little love to those you love. Surprise them with your old-fashioned thoughtfulness!

 

Fight Night is Over…. Now What?

You went to the Fight Night Simulcast… you laughed at all the Parrott’s jokes, a lightbulb went off as you identified with their stories, and you even enjoyed some dessert and made a date night out of it…. But now it’s over and your life and marriage didn’t really change. So now what?

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Here are a few next steps to keep the momentum!

1. Go on a Follow-Up Date

It’s important to take the time to process the things we hear and learn. I tend to process out loud, bouncing ideas and conclusions around in conversation. Tappy likes to process quietly, mulling things over in his head. If you haven’t already, grab your notes from the simulcast and discuss them with your partner.

Here are a few questions to get you started

  • What did you identify with most?
  • Where do you land between High Expressiveness and Low Expressiveness?
  • Do you think you have high flexibility or have low flexibility?
  • What is our strength when we fight? Are we naturally good at cooperation, ownership, respect, or empathy?
  • What one weakness is the most prominent when we fight? Criticism, defensiveness, contempt, or stonewalling?

2. Choose One Action Step, and Write it Down

Make one simple and attainable goal. Often goals and resolutions fail, because they are unreasonable to begin with and we get stress-paralyzed. We tend to think if we can’t do it all and do it all perfectly, it’s not worth trying. However, we know that big results come from small changes over time. So pick one attainable goal to start.

In addition, goals are more likely to happen if you write them down and share them. Let your partner know what your one take away was and how you want to implement it.

3. Give “Withholds” a Try

One of the most concrete ways to implement Fight Night is to use the Withholds strategy. Schedule a time each week to practice this.

Withholds

  • Share 2 Positive Things About Your Spouse – things you saw, but failed to recognize and thank them for.
  • Share 1 Negative Thing – one thing that has been eating at you, that you haven’t had the time or the courage to say
  • Say Thank You – don’t rebuttle, or defend yourself, simply say Thank You for the information.
  • Take 30 Minutes – This gives our brain time to come out of “Fight Mode.” Don’t discuss any of the withholds for at least 30 minutes.

4. Read Les & Leslie’s book, The Good Fight

The Parrott’s did a great job explaining why we fight, and giving us valuable content to fight fair.  However, if you are looking for more we highly recommend their book, The Good Fight. It is not simply a recap of the simulcast, but it goes deeper and offers more application that simply was too much to fit into a single evening.

 

What was your main takeaway from Fight Night? How have you already implemented what you have learned?

October Favorites

One of my favorite posts to get from other bloggers are their monthly favorite lists. We decided to give you the content we love getting. Our favorites list includes what we are currently listening to, reading, wearing, and our favorite date ideas for the month.

Take a look!

October Favorites

Latest Listens

I’ve been listening to “The Power of Vulnerability” by Brene Brown on Audible. They are live recordings of a course that walks you through the culmination of her years of research. I’m only two hours in, but I can see this audiobook being helpful to: empower children, gain confidence, drop arrogance, become better communicators and listeners, and most importantly to find our authentic self. I’ve already adopted her mantra, “Don’t shrink, don’t puff up. Stand your sacred ground.” -Emilie

What I love about this album is the lyrics, especially in the songs Hallelujah Here Below and Then He Rose.  Each song paints a picture of the love of Christ and the worship of His people.  Elevation produces a great album, they are solid live, and their heart for God is evident in their writing. -Tappy

Current Reads

Actually, we are both reading “The Good Fight,” by Les & Leslie Parrott. We are hosting the live simulcast, Fight Night, based off the research that went into this book. We wanted to dive in and learn more before the big night on November 1st, and this book only makes us more excited! We hope you join us, you can find out more and buy tickets here. – Emilie

I am being ridiculously challenged by this book, “Didn’t See it Coming.”  Carey gets to the heart of leadership and the struggle that anyone will face throughout their tenure as a leader. This will be a must read each year for me; both as a gut-check and warning to not fall victim to any of the seven issues. – Ethan

What We Wear

Our autumn so far has been in the 80s-90s… But whenever we finally get a dip in temp, I’ve worn this white and black stripe top. It is loose and comfortable. It’s the perfect length to wear with leggings, but still looks great with jeans. Not to mention the fabric is sooo soft. I like to pair mine with a vest and long necklace. – Emilie

I admit it, I am almost 30 and I am still wearing skinny jeans.  I love them and I am not ashamed!  ASOS has produced some great jeans.  They don’t stretch out and I have been impressed with the quality so far. They also have a ton of color and style options! – Ethan

Date Nights

There are soo many fun festivals in October! We’ve been to the Apple Pumpkin Festival, Mum Festival, and Carnival or Halloween themed parties. Our personal favorite is going to a Square Dance, bonus points if it is in an actual barn! Count me in for all the Hay-Rack rides, apple picking, and Haunted Houses! -Emilie

Carving Pumpkins is a favorite of mine.  I have done it almost every year of my life and it started as a tradition that my brother and I did with our mom.  I like the challenge of coming up with something unique each year instead of using a pre-made design.  I have done a snow man, a deer, jack skellington, and even my friends face!  I love the tradition and challenge. This is great as a date night with friends or family.  Plus the baked pumpkin seeds with some olive oil and salt…yum! – Ethan

 

Tell us what some of your favorites are! We would love new ideas, and maybe they’ll end up on our favorites next month.

Also, let us know if you enjoy this kind of post and would like to see more like it!

5 Ways to Stay Positive About Your Marriage

Have you ever found yourself in bitterness and resentment toward your spouse?

Maybe you see a friend post about how their husband surprised her by doing the dishes before she got home and you wish your husband would do that. Your co-worker gushes about the romantic evening her husband planned for her birthday and you remember how your husband forgot your birthday last year.

Maybe your wife doesn’t watch sports with you, and your co-worker took her husband to Wrigley Field this summer. You watch the way your friends flirt and hold hands during your double date, but you know your wife is uncomfortable with public displays of affection.

Do you find yourself comparing your marriage to the couples around you? or those on Instagram and Facebook?

Stay Positive

Let me remind you… No human is exactly the same, therefore no marriage is exactly the same. Not to mention, no person or marriage is perfect! 

What makes you just like all those couples you see, is that you all face hardships. You all have a level of brokenness, fault, & problems.

Comparing their instagram photos to your real-life-in-the-grind moments isn’t fair to anyone. Nor is it good for your soul.

So let’s turn this train around! How can we stop the negative feelings and start seeing that glass half full again? Here are 5 small tips:

1) Keep a Journal, but Burn the Pages

A Christian leader I respect and admire unwinds his mind and reflects on his day through a journal. Writing has always been a great way to process things, as well as reflect and reminisce through. However, he reflects back on the positive, but any page that is negative he rips out and burns. It is good to process your negative emotions, but it is never good to hold on to them. Take the time to do the hard work of processing, and the best work of letting go.

2) Keep a Record of Good

The Bible clearly states that Love keeps no record of wrongs (1 Corinthians 13:5). But I do encourage you to keep a record of good.

A friend of mine keeps a list of all the reasons she fell in love and married her husband. She tucks it into the pages of her Bible and reminds herself daily of his strengths after her time with God. Make a list of your own and keep it as a book mark or reference when the time’s get rough.

3) Call it When You See It

Don’t let a good moment pass without recognizing it. It’s easy to take all the little things for granted, but you can develop an eye for noticing the simplest of gestures. Just like we choose to see the annoyances rather than dismiss them, we can choose to see the good and dismiss the bad.

We used to keep a chalkboard in our kitchen. Whenever we noticed something we would write it down on the board. It was a shout-out that their efforts didn’t go unnoticed. Sometimes we would get competitive and try to out do one another in love. What a great way to utilize that competitive nature!

4) Assume the Best

It’s easy to take offense quickly. We often react assuming our partner meant to hurt us with their words (aka He meant I was fat!). But it’s much more likely that they don’t mean to hurt us. They loved us enough to marry us afterall.

So take a deep breath, remind yourself they love you, and assume the best.

5) Pray Over the Rest

If we spent the same amount of time we do berating, arguing, complaining, nagging, resenting…. and instead praying for our spouse, the more effective our time would be spent. Prayer can do a funny thing though. Instead of fixing your spouse, it tends to fix you. Prayer can fix our heart by softening it towards our spouse, increasing our grace and our mercy towards each other.

 

What are your tips for turning away bitterness? Do you have a simple habit that helps you stay focused on the positive?

 

 

 

Summer Dates You Will Want to Repeat

Summer is my favorite season! With the warm weather life seems to open up again. The possibilities grow as we are able to get outside, move, and soak up the sun.

In this favorite season of mine, I’ve also noticed favorite dates play on repeat. Here are the Summer Dates we come back to time and time again.

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Ice Cream Dates

Ice cream is simply delicious and especially refreshing on a warm day. Repeated nearly weekly, Tappy and I will sit down and enjoy some icecream together.

This is Summer’s version of a “coffee date” for us. It gives us a treat while we unwind, share dreams, and update each other on our week. But there are some ways you can spice up your ice cream dates! Try to…

  • Make Homemade Ice Cream
  • Make Sundaes or Root Beer Floats at Home
  • Try a New Ice Cream Parlor
  • Order Something Different off the Menu

 

Sunset Walks

Unwind from work, eat supper, and then right before Dusk put on your walking shoes. The sunset not only offers a lovely backdrop for a romantic walk, but it also offers a break in the day’s heat.

Walks are great, because men enjoy side-by-side activities. As you move and the blood gets flowing, your brain starts moving too. Tappy can’t deny that he talks more on walks than sitting down at a table. There is just something about moving together! Plus it’s healthy!

  • Walk Your Favorite Neighborhood
  • Walk the Trails at your Local Park
  • Visit a Botanical Garden or Zoo

 

Outdoor Grilling

We love grilling so much, that we have done it in the rain and snow before… But let’s face it, it works much better in the summer! Our favorite thing to grill is Kabobs. Although, we won’t turn down a BBQ hamsteak, corn on the cob, burgers, or sausages either!

Keep your partner company while they make dinner, eat it outside on paper plates, and enjoy the relaxing nature of it all.

  • Try a new Grill Recipe (Kabobs, Grilled Pizza?)
  • Invite friends over for a cookout
  • Use this marinade recipe we love!
  • Make it a Picnic

 

Visit the Lake

Tappy and I love to take out the family boat. Being on the lake reminds me of God’s hand in all of creation. I admire His work, and think about the blessing He has given us to enjoy it in such neat ways. Who thought of being pulled by a rope attached to a speed boat just to skim the surface of the water on sticks?! I’m pretty sure God gave man that idea.

  • Swim in the Lake
  • Lay on the Beach
  • Go Boating, Tubing, Skiing
  • Kayak or Canoe

 

What Summer Date Ideas do you play on Repeat?

Give us some suggestions for our next date night!

What’s Behind the Argument?

Even as certified Pre-Marital Counselors, Tappy and I still have our arguments. In fact, some of the most heated arguments  have even happened when we were preparing to teach a Marriage class.

It was a weeknight. We had both gotten home from a full days work to sit down at the table and prepare the lesson for the following Saturday night class.

As we went through the material we would plan illustrations to bring the material to life, supplement from other studies we’ve done to offer more practical advise, and we were also creating a power point to be visually engaging for our students.

Power Points are important, but I felt that lesson-planning was becoming very inefficient by the constant pauses to change bullet points, fonts, and colors. After a while my frustration started to come out in my tone, and small remarks under my breath about how I wish Tap would stop working on the power point.

Before I knew it the frustration had escalated, and Tappy responded by slamming the laptop shut and exclaiming, “Fine, we won’t have a powerpoint.”

Then I rebutted, “Fine, and you can teach this class alone!”

What's Behind the Argument

During the whole evening I was begging him to work on the power point later, I argued that it wasn’t as important as the lesson, and how inefficient it seemed to be multi-tasking. I was talking about the external circumstances. The surface issue was I didn’t want to work on the power point while we lesson planned.

This caused Tap to argue the importance of the power point, how it helped us stay on track during our lesson, and how it made more sense to make it as we went through the lesson rather than after. The surface issue was that he wanted to do the power point simultaneously.

When we stay in the surface issues we offer ZERO sympathy. We don’t put ourselves in the other person’s shoes. Instead we are out to win the argument. 

After the blow up, we cooled down, and we wisened up. We remembered that all heated arguments aren’t about the surface issues, but something deeper.

Tap was probably the one to break the ice, by stating how he felt. “I feel unappreciated when you want me to stop working on the power point, because I feel that my contribution to the lesson isn’t important to you.”

My husband feels unappreciated. AAACK! That’s not what I want. Pause, Rewind. Now I’m slowing down to understand and empathize. I had the opportunity to say, “No, I love the power points you make, and I see how they help the class follow along and engage!” Trying to undue all the harm I’ve done, and shine light on all the positives I see and to show the appreciation he needed.

Then I shared my under-the-surface-feelings, “I feel disrespected when you would stop me in the middle of my sentences or thoughts to fix the power point, because I didn’t feel like you were concentrating on the lesson plan and our time was being wasted.”

That’s when he stepped into my shoes and saw how I was frustrated to watch him work on something I couldn’t help him with, and he began to see that his attention did appear to be pulled in two directions.

Surface issue: To work on the Power Point or Not to work on the Power Point

REAL issue: Feeling Unappreciated & Feeling Disrespected

 

Focusing on our feelings keeps the argument more humane and it opens us up to be more receptive of our partner’s point of view. Using an XYZ statement is a great way to express your feelings as well as help you identify your feelings in the middle of an argument. Here is an XYZ statement:

I feel  ___X___, when  ___Y___, because ___Z___.”

If you scroll back up, you can see how Tappy and I used this exact framework to calm our argument down.

 

What are ways you turn a fight around?

Challenge: Next argument, try to use an XYZ statement and tell us how it goes.

Asking Someone Out on a Date

When I met Tappy a crush began. We would cross paths in the hallway in College as I left class, and he was going to his. As time went on you could sense that I was hanging around after class, and he was coming early just to up the odds of running into each other. After every 2 minute conversation I would say, “We should get together sometime.” HINT HINT, *nudge* *nudge*

But he never got the hint! He’d say, “Ya that’d be fun,” and then walk into class like I didn’t exist. After a couple weeks of this, I decided I would break the social norm and ask him out! I walked back up the stairs and into that classroom, seconds before the professor was going to start and I asked Tappy if he would like to “hang out” with me and to let me know when right there in front of everyone.

AskOut

I walked out of that classroom with hot rosy cheeks and so many embarrassing thoughts swimming in my head, but that night he sent me a message with the days and times he was available and said he would love to get together and do something.

Come to find out “Dates” are becoming rare, and asking someone out is even more unusual. This was already becoming the case 10 years ago, when Tap and I were in College. On our Christian campus the motto was “Ring By Spring.” Instead of traditional dates, individuals became couples and were talking marriage and commitment head first.

5 years ago, we were talking to a bundle of girls I enjoyed mentoring. The idea of having coffee with someone was “awkward” to them. They said “people don’t do that anymore.” “You are either friend-zoned or full out in a relationship.”  The commitment came before the date!

Then there’s now. Tappy and I recently watched a documentary called “The Dating Project,” which followed 5 single people at various ages (18-40’s) who live all across the US from New York to LA. They discuss the dating scene, their personal experiences, and their mindset for relationships. Over and Over the theme was of a “Hook Up” culture – Where individuals would find themselves wondering if they were “dating” someone or not, unclear of the other’s intentions, hooking up with strangers for status or some resemblance of love and attention.

Then, in the documentary, we meet a professor who sees this trend all over a university campus and decides to challenge it within her sociology class! She assigns her students to go on what she calls “Traditional Dates.” These Traditional Dates have some great rules that offer a guideline of where to get started when you are looking for a mate. Here are my favorite 4 Guidelines:

1. You Ask, You Pay & You Plan

Too often, students found themselves on an “accidate.” The fact that it was a date was never clear, or the intentions were different for each party. To date well, you need to do so with clear intentions. Make sure the person you ask knows that it’s a date.

This is where I failed. I didn’t clearly state that it was a date! So on our “date” we ran into my pastor who asked, OUT LOUD, if we were on a date! I was so nervous. I wanted it to be a date, but I hadn’t clearly stated that. I didn’t know if Tappy wanted it to be a date or not and here he is in ear shot! If I said yes, would he be freaked out, if I said no would he think I wasn’t interested?  Don’t make the same mistake.

Then if you ask, you should have a plan. Keep it simple and in an environment that allows conversation (unlike a movie). My personal favorite is an icecream date! Tap would probably choose coffee. Other ideas would be long-boarding, rollerblading, a game of PIG basketball, a walk around campus or at a park.

2. Keep it under 90 Minutes

For a first date keep it short, 45-90 minutes. You are just testing the waters. If it’s bad you have an out. If it’s good, you keep the interest alive and you don’t beat it dead with a stick. They said get out under 90 minutes especially if it’s good.

This is one I would not have thought of! If I’m having fun I can easily loose track of time, but I think we can all agree that less can be more. I don’t think anyone regrets a little bit of a chase or those early butterflies.

3. Prepare 3 Questions

As well as planning the activity, you need to come prepared with three questions. Any more than that it may feel like an interrogation. However, three questions helps keep the conversation going and shows genuine interest. These questions can always generate follow-up questions, and that’s good. Go where the conversation leads! You shouldn’t follow your questions like a check list, just have them as back-up.

4. No Touchy

The purpose of dating is to get to know someone well and to discover if they are a good match for you. These first few dates should be touch free as you engage your mind.  An “A-Frame” hug is allowed, but touching shouldn’t be introduced until you’ve gone on multiple dates and see a possibility of a future and lock-in a relationship status.

This here is super counter-cultural, when we live in a world of Friends with Benefits and Casual Hook-Ups this may not make sense. However, our bodies are literally scientifically wired to create emotional connections out of physical ones (It’s called Oxytocin). Then the more emotionally attached the more biased our opinions and the more our decisions are affected. #beenthere #donethat Tap and I have both stated that we stayed in bad relationships, because we were prematurely invested.  It can keep our decisions wiser to not engage prematurely in touch.

 

Tell me, what do you think of traditional dates? What are some of your favorite date ideas?

Singles: Go ask someone out! Use the guidelines, and tell us how it went!

Couples: Tell us your first date stories!

For more “First Level Date” guidelines check out the documentary “The Dating Project.