It will be two years in March since my husband and I uprooted our lives and moved – for the first time – away from family. That means, it has been nearly two years of breaking ground in Ohio. Slowly letting our walls down; Sharing pieces of our history, our lives, of ourselves. It has been painstakingly slow!
The pastor shared with us, that in his history, it takes about 3-5 years to find your place after a move. To truly feel connected, at peace, accepted, and a part of something bigger than yourself. These are desires that everyone has at some level. Desires that are heavily sought, slowly accomplished, and hard to actualize.
At times it will feel like we have made large strides! Then it all stops, and there will be a large expanse of passing months where we have had little to no connection outside each other. It is hard to keep inviting, sharing, and pulling back our skin- laying ourselves open, when it seems we are the only one’s doing so.
Perhaps we are intimidating. I wouldn’t be surprised if everyone has assumed that the worship pastor and his wife are surely already connected. Those easy-going outgoing extroverts have got to have some cool friends, right? We’re getting there, but we could use a little help! We want the same thing you do, and we are running ourselves ragged to get it.
We try, and then we retreat. We pull back in, and try to recoup from the frustrations and heartache, or simply the emotional exhaustion of it all. We are sorry if we seem distant. I’m sorry if we are too busy, but we are trying.
Just like you, we are looking for fellowship. A group of friends with a shared belief, interests, and lifestyle. Someone we can run to, people who would want to run to us. People we can laugh with, cry with, and count on. In the words of Anne, with an e, I am looking for my bosom friend.
So you’re not alone, and I am sure we are not alone either. Perhaps, the people you think are already connected, cliqued, and too far gone, are the same people looking back at you with desperate and hungry eyes. Everyone is looking for fellowship and connection… and we are looking right past each other.
Finally, brothers, rejoice. Aim for restoration, comfort one another, agree with one another, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you. Greet one another with a holy kiss. All the saints greet you. The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all.
1 Corinthians 13:11-14