This Saturday we celebrated our fourth married Christmas! Since we got married in December, Christmas seems to have an added sentimental value. It’s hard to celebrate such a joyful and memorable holiday without reminiscing over the ways we’ve changed over the years or how we celebrated in the past.
When we were dating, Tap was the first boyfriend of mine to ever stop by my house on Christmas day. He swayed his hips to the beat of Dance Central, our hit family Christmas present that year. When we were dating, we never swapped gifts, but always went on dates instead. We celebrated by snowskiing in Northern Illinois. During the ski-trip, we were taking a hot-cocoa break, and this was the first time Tap let me in on the notion of wanting to marry me. He tells me now, that it was “the moment” he knew. He took my sapphire ring off my right hand, and slipped it onto my left ring finger telling me, “Someday I’ll be putting a ring on this finger…” The next December we got hitched!
Our first married Christmas was a mere week from our honeymoon in Kauai. I had hand-knit him a scarf and hand-painted a popcorn bowl which he still wears and uses today. He made me a small scrapbook of the many ways he loves me, and filled my stocking with other things.
The second Christmas, and our one year anniversary, we went snowskiing again; This time in Steamboat Colorado. I bought him a used pair of snowski’s, and he gifted a beautiful green amethyst necklace to me for our anniversary.
Christmas number three was our first Christmas away from Illinois. Just the two of us celebrated with Christmas cookies from a local bakery, hot cocoa, and a gift swap. We were in Ohio until he wrapped up his first Christmas Eve production, and we hit the road for a long 5 hour trip racing to hit the bed before Santa came.
This year was Christmas Four! We got up, ate cookies, drank hot chocolate, stayed in our pajamas, opened presents, watched a movie, and spent the whole day being lazy and loving one another.
…But I am going to be honest. Christmas isn’t always picture perfect. Unfortunately this year, I was hormonal and grumpy.
I love Christmas, but I struggle with the materialism, the over-hyped anticipation, and the unrealistic expectations that influence my happiness. I hated myself for being one of those. I let myself take my life and the gifts for granted, I let myself get distracted from the true meaning of Christmas. Not only that, but I even struggled with holding on to our special married meaning that Tap and I have created over the years. After looking back I think it was a combination of things: breakdown from stress, being hormonal, selfishness, and distraction. Yes there are things I could not have controlled or changed, but I could have- and eventually did- choose to react in a more positive way.
The moment I let go of me, and refocused on God- His ultimate gift, and His personal gift to me-my husband, our little celebration got better. I am so thankful for my husband, who tirelessly encouraged me, and spiritually led me to the manger this Christmas. If you feel yourself getting wrapped up in a bahumbug, stop and pray, and refocus on the true blessing this season.