I understand why people are rolling their eyes at the #LoveYourSpouse trend… Because the reality is, life is NOT A FAIRY TALE.
And for most people who are against the trend rightly feel that it is a little too polished and perfect to be true. However, this challenge is a reminder of something all couples need a little more of.
Positivity. Bonding. Forgiveness. Solidarity. Encouragement.
Here are three short reasons why the #LoveYourSpouse Challenge is a good thing.
-Keeping a Positive Outlook on Your Marriage is Healthy-
I’ve shared before that Tap and I have made a commitment to not bash each other in public. When we do this we feel safe in our relationship, we don’t fear embarrassment in-front of or away from our spouse. Our spouse knows our deepest and most hidden flaws, and with this rule I feel safe with him knowing all of me.
So no, facebook doesn’t show the reality of our roller coaster relationship, but it shouldn’t have to. Fights are for us in our own space and time, until they’re too big- Then they’re for us and a mutually trusted counselor or wiser couple.
-Telling and Sharing Your Story is Bonding-
In all of my communication & relationship courses in college the theme of “story” was studied. The premise was that “memory sharing” creates and reinforces a bond between two people. Just watch a couple recite their story, over time they can finish each other’s sentences and they can repeat this story with bravado! You also begin to see them lean into each other, and show outward signs of affection.
Why? Because, once you walk down memory lane it tends to resurface some of those initial butterfly feelings.
Furthermore! Every positive memory is like an investment in your relationship. So when those imperfect hard times hit, you have an investment that softens the blow! We need to keep remembering the reasons we love our spouse, as well as create more reasons and memories for future hardships.
-We all Desperately Need Encouragement-
Just after 4.5 years of my marriage, I may feel like I’m not the woman my husband married. Fear that I have disappointed him with the pounds I’ve gained, the patience I’ve lost, and the slow change of personality that happens with experience and time. We all doubt ourselves, and need the reminder and reaffirmation that our marriage is still strong in the midst of challenge or change.
Even in a healthy, loving, committed relationship, I’m glad to still hear I love you.. still.
It is important to remind each other that we did, do, and will always love one another, despite the surfacing flaws, bumps in the road, and challenges we face.
And in a world that pushes divorce, selfishness, and the pursuit of happiness over holiness, it’s good to see love conquer.
How about you? Will you be joining the challenge? Why or why not?