Fight Night is Over…. Now What?

You went to the Fight Night Simulcast… you laughed at all the Parrott’s jokes, a lightbulb went off as you identified with their stories, and you even enjoyed some dessert and made a date night out of it…. But now it’s over and your life and marriage didn’t really change. So now what?

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Here are a few next steps to keep the momentum!

1. Go on a Follow-Up Date

It’s important to take the time to process the things we hear and learn. I tend to process out loud, bouncing ideas and conclusions around in conversation. Tappy likes to process quietly, mulling things over in his head. If you haven’t already, grab your notes from the simulcast and discuss them with your partner.

Here are a few questions to get you started

  • What did you identify with most?
  • Where do you land between High Expressiveness and Low Expressiveness?
  • Do you think you have high flexibility or have low flexibility?
  • What is our strength when we fight? Are we naturally good at cooperation, ownership, respect, or empathy?
  • What one weakness is the most prominent when we fight? Criticism, defensiveness, contempt, or stonewalling?

2. Choose One Action Step, and Write it Down

Make one simple and attainable goal. Often goals and resolutions fail, because they are unreasonable to begin with and we get stress-paralyzed. We tend to think if we can’t do it all and do it all perfectly, it’s not worth trying. However, we know that big results come from small changes over time. So pick one attainable goal to start.

In addition, goals are more likely to happen if you write them down and share them. Let your partner know what your one take away was and how you want to implement it.

3. Give “Withholds” a Try

One of the most concrete ways to implement Fight Night is to use the Withholds strategy. Schedule a time each week to practice this.

Withholds

  • Share 2 Positive Things About Your Spouse – things you saw, but failed to recognize and thank them for.
  • Share 1 Negative Thing – one thing that has been eating at you, that you haven’t had the time or the courage to say
  • Say Thank You – don’t rebuttle, or defend yourself, simply say Thank You for the information.
  • Take 30 Minutes – This gives our brain time to come out of “Fight Mode.” Don’t discuss any of the withholds for at least 30 minutes.

4. Read Les & Leslie’s book, The Good Fight

The Parrott’s did a great job explaining why we fight, and giving us valuable content to fight fair.  However, if you are looking for more we highly recommend their book, The Good Fight. It is not simply a recap of the simulcast, but it goes deeper and offers more application that simply was too much to fit into a single evening.

 

What was your main takeaway from Fight Night? How have you already implemented what you have learned?

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October Favorites

One of my favorite posts to get from other bloggers are their monthly favorite lists. We decided to give you the content we love getting. Our favorites list includes what we are currently listening to, reading, wearing, and our favorite date ideas for the month.

Take a look!

October Favorites

Latest Listens

I’ve been listening to “The Power of Vulnerability” by Brene Brown on Audible. They are live recordings of a course that walks you through the culmination of her years of research. I’m only two hours in, but I can see this audiobook being helpful to: empower children, gain confidence, drop arrogance, become better communicators and listeners, and most importantly to find our authentic self. I’ve already adopted her mantra, “Don’t shrink, don’t puff up. Stand your sacred ground.” -Emilie

What I love about this album is the lyrics, especially in the songs Hallelujah Here Below and Then He Rose.  Each song paints a picture of the love of Christ and the worship of His people.  Elevation produces a great album, they are solid live, and their heart for God is evident in their writing. -Tappy

Current Reads

Actually, we are both reading “The Good Fight,” by Les & Leslie Parrott. We are hosting the live simulcast, Fight Night, based off the research that went into this book. We wanted to dive in and learn more before the big night on November 1st, and this book only makes us more excited! We hope you join us, you can find out more and buy tickets here. – Emilie

I am being ridiculously challenged by this book, “Didn’t See it Coming.”  Carey gets to the heart of leadership and the struggle that anyone will face throughout their tenure as a leader. This will be a must read each year for me; both as a gut-check and warning to not fall victim to any of the seven issues. – Ethan

What We Wear

Our autumn so far has been in the 80s-90s… But whenever we finally get a dip in temp, I’ve worn this white and black stripe top. It is loose and comfortable. It’s the perfect length to wear with leggings, but still looks great with jeans. Not to mention the fabric is sooo soft. I like to pair mine with a vest and long necklace. – Emilie

I admit it, I am almost 30 and I am still wearing skinny jeans.  I love them and I am not ashamed!  ASOS has produced some great jeans.  They don’t stretch out and I have been impressed with the quality so far. They also have a ton of color and style options! – Ethan

Date Nights

There are soo many fun festivals in October! We’ve been to the Apple Pumpkin Festival, Mum Festival, and Carnival or Halloween themed parties. Our personal favorite is going to a Square Dance, bonus points if it is in an actual barn! Count me in for all the Hay-Rack rides, apple picking, and Haunted Houses! -Emilie

Carving Pumpkins is a favorite of mine.  I have done it almost every year of my life and it started as a tradition that my brother and I did with our mom.  I like the challenge of coming up with something unique each year instead of using a pre-made design.  I have done a snow man, a deer, jack skellington, and even my friends face!  I love the tradition and challenge. This is great as a date night with friends or family.  Plus the baked pumpkin seeds with some olive oil and salt…yum! – Ethan

 

Tell us what some of your favorites are! We would love new ideas, and maybe they’ll end up on our favorites next month.

Also, let us know if you enjoy this kind of post and would like to see more like it!