Cute, Beautiful, OR Sexy?

In Junior High, I was sitting down in our makeshift computer lab working on an assignment. The boy next to me kept inquiring about my best friend at the time, whom he had a crush on.  I don’t remember the specifics, but it was probably a lot of – Does she like anyone right now? Would she like me? Has she mentioned anything? yadayadayada.  Then it turned into less questions and more of a narrative- She’s absolutely beautiful… so on, and so on.  I was used to it, she was pretty popular, and I was easy to talk to.  Eventually, I asked what made her beautiful in his eyes.  He then broke it down for me, there were differences and levels of looks among the young girls in our class.  There was cute, beautiful, or sexy.  I, he said, landed in the “cute” category.  I think he had said all three were equal, but separate; He wasn’t rude about it, but it obviously made an impression on me.

I want to tell you, these three things are not completely isolated from one-another.  We are not just cute.  We do not need to compare ourselves to the sexy ones, or wish we had just a little more to push us over into the beautiful category. In fact, in every human being all three attributes exist.  Although, each attribute needs to be nurtured and manifested.

CUTE : appealing and delightful; charming:keen, clever

I believe Cute is expressed in the quirky personality traits that make each individual unique.  The way one throws their head back when they laugh, how they dance when they clean, when they whistle as they work.  The faces they make, the phrases they always use, their way of relaxing or socializing. Cute is the personality! Cute is how you express yourself, it is simply what makes you you and not them.

Beautiful : possessing qualities that give great pleasure or satisfaction to see, hear, think about; delighting the senses or mind

Beautiful describes the heart.  Do you love often, freely, without judgement or reserve? Do you give even when you cannot get? Do you serve, sacrifice, commit?  Do you work with integrity?  Do you run from evil, refuse to speak ill, and strive for God’s standards in your life?  God has given us guidelines to beauty! The beautiful are those who pursue and bear the Fruit of the Spirit in Galations 5:22-23a:

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control

Beauty is your soul and heart. Through Christ’s sacrifice the ugly has been taken away, through the Holy Spirit we have the power and ability to grasp beauty, and with God’s word we can learn about the characteristics of true beauty that we should pursue.

Sexy : excitingly appealing; glamorous; sexually interesting or exciting; radiating sexuality

Everyone is created as a sexual being.  God created sex, and encourages us to pursue sex uninhibitedly within the confines of marriage.  You are sexy where you are, and you are encouraged to celebrate that sexiness in your marriage!  Do not compare yourself to the twisted, degraded, and degenerate form of “sex” in the media.  Sex is to be your intimate secret, holy, unifying, knowing act between you and your spouse.  You are sexy, God designed you to be.


I want you to know that YOU are CUTE, BEAUTIFUL, and SEXY!  Believe it, Embrace it, and Live it in confidence.

Beauty has Become a Treatment

For the last three weeks I have been participating in a Beth Moore Bible study on the book of Esther at TroyNaz.  I’ll be honest, this is the first time I’ve given the book of Esther much of my time, and what a shame that was! Esther has proved to be a beautiful story of God’s unseen hand and deep profound love for His people.  It is rich with history, ironies, and applications.  Let me share with you one small snippet that hit me over the head with a deep recognition and familiarity to our culture today.

We will be looking at the portion where King Xerxes is looking for a new bride: Esther Chapter 2.

Then the king’s young men who attended him said, ‘Let beautiful young virgins be sought out for the king. And let the king appoint officers in all the provinces of his kingdom to gather all the beautiful young virgins to the harem in Susa the citadel, under custody of Hegai, the king’s eunuch, who is in charge of the women. Let their cosmetics be given them. And let the young woman who pleases the king be queen instead of Vashti.’

Now when the turn came for each young woman to go in to King Xerxes, after being twelve months under the regulations for the women, since this was the regular period of their beautifying, six months with oil of myrrh and six months with spices and ointments for women— when the young woman went in to the king in this way, she was given whatever she desired to take with her from the harem to the king’s palace.

Esther 2:2-4, 12-13

Let me recap… They gathered all the beautiful women.  These already beautiful women then had to go through a TWELVE MONTH beautification process including ointments, spices, and cosmetics.

Beth Moore states that beauty is no longer depicted as something you are, but something that you do.  The natural beauty gathered for the King wasn’t enough. Beauty is no longer a characteristic, but a treatment, it is what you do.  The Persian culture treated beauty this way, and sadly, so does today’s culture.

We can be gorgeous on the inside and out, but our culture today says that we can only be beautiful if we are a certain size, weight, wearing makeup, revealing ourselves, and have every inch Photoshopped.  Beauty is no longer just a treatment, it’s imaginary.  We can’t live up to photoshop, nor should we have to.  Why chase this false beauty?

Instead of looking at the mirror and judging our every bulge and pimple, we should look at the mirror and examine our hearts before God.  Instead of spending thirty minutes to an hour primping our hair, we should take the time to delve into God’s Word and fill our mind with TRUTH instead of these cultural lies.  Time spent on makeup, outfits, and accessories could be invested more wisely in the nurturing of the Fruits of the Spirit.

True beauty is defined by the characteristics God calls us to : “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,gentleness, self-control” Galatians 5:22-23

Easier said then done, right?  The first thing we have to do is believe it.  Redefine what beauty is in our own hearts.  Our physical beauty will always age and change, we can’t hold onto it for our own security… it’ll never be enough.  Where one flaw is covered, our eyes search and find the next.  Let’s root our beauty in what God’s eyes see.

He loved us so much that He humbled Himself – God became a man.  He humbled Himself further and died a cruel and painful death, taking our guilty sentence upon Himself so that we may go scott-free.  There is no love greater than Love, Himself… and He looks at us with that great overpowering love.

Why don’t we put God’s perspective on for size?  We can become overwhelmed in the tender love He offers, we can be rooted in His vision for us, and we can learn to treat ourselves with the respect He desires for us.